Friday, 14 December 2007

Who else in the world writes to Santa Clause other than all the good boys and girls?

The Black List:

The elf walked into the Head Office,
Immediately dwarfed by towers of toys and more.
Up at his desk Santa fiddled with a toy train.
The Elf was sure his frown was deeper than before.

“Sir we have a few problems.” The small voice spoke.
“Rudolph hasn’t escaped again has he?” was his immediate reply.
“No sir we have managed to keep him out of the coke.”

“What’s the matter then?” he asked putting a sheep in its pen.
“The Black letters have arrived sir.”
“Presents only for those who are good. I’ve told them time and time again.”

“A lycanthrope wishes for a collar so he isn’t seen as a stray.”
“If he were a good dog I might be kind to this one.”
On that matter it was all Santa had to say.

“Next is from Medusa, a thousand ribbons for her snake hair.”
The small elf looked at Santa anxiously.
“Too dangerous, to risk being turned to stone I do not dare.”

“Thirdly is a vampire asking for another rat.”
Santa sighed, now doodling snow flakes.
“Send him to blood detox and let him be happy with that.”

“A witch is hoping for a Thunderbolt broom.”
At that Santa let out a tiresome groan.
“Damned Potter, send her a flying vacuum.”

“Captain Hook wants a box to catch fairies.”
A small gulp came from the tiny elf.
“The gall of him! Send him a box of sweet cherries.”

“Finally a zombie wishes for new clothes.”
Santa nearly choked on his hot chocolate.
“What he died in let him keep those.”

“That is all so far sir.” The Elf concluded.
“To think winters only just started.” Santa muttered.
“These baddies really are deluded.

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