Thursday, 1 November 2007

Something to remember at Halloween:

A recipe from a Witches Cook Book: Human Haggis

Take one human stomach, empty or full and drown it,
several times, vigorously.
Whilst it drowns take the heart and remove it
srom the blood vessels with a pair of jagged scissors.
Then remove the stomach and lay it on some hot coals,
as the stomach hisses and sizzles cut and slice the gristly bits
of the lungs and finally free the liver from the rest of the corpse.

Add the organs into a large cauldron,
(Preferably the old slow-cooking kind)
to boil and simmer.
Add any spices or herbs if you can find any.
Whilst the other parts are cooking turn the stomach inside out
and line the innards with nettles and slug slime.
(To help the furry side is the outside of the stomach, you want
to make that the inside by turning it inside out.)
Once other organs are boiled to death need them to a pulp
using some dragon teeth.
(Just ignore the fat and blood it all adds flavour.)

Stuff the stomach with the pulp and then use spider leg needles
to stitch the stomach into a full bag with no holes.
Place again into a bubbling cauldron and leave to stew until
the next full moon.

When ready serve upon a lambs jawbone with seaweed
and maybe some children’s toe nails as seasoning.
Give to the Devil and hope he likes it.

The perfect Hallows Eve dish.

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